Muzzle the Poodle-Dog Shouters

Programs like Pardon the Interruption and Around the Horn on ESPN might raise your heart rate, but they pander to lowering your sports IQ. These shows trumpet Poodle-Dog Journalism, a brand of yapping where education takes a back seat to excitement and entertainment. (To his credit, PTI's host usually says he and his partner are about to "yap about" one thing or another in his introduction. It reminds me of the line in The Natural where Roy Hobbs asks sportwriter Max Mercy if Max ever played in a game. "No," he said, "but I made it a lot more fun to watch.")

When the San Antonio Spurs reeled off 43 points in the fourth quarter of yesterday's conference finals game, the team surprised a lot of fans who rely on national media to know the NBA. The Spurs uncorked their explosion despite some desperate cramming on defense by the Suns, who seem to have skipped their D lessons and resorted to NFL-style defense, as shown at left. The local reports knew better of the Spurs offense, and pointed out that the team has a reputation of grinding out wins with penetrating defense, a strategy that glazes over the eyes of analysts on ESPN. That rep is out of date, as yesterday's shootout against the run-and-gun Suns proved. Coverage of the win also proved how little light the average sportscast sheds compared to its copious amount of heat.


Once in a while TV sports can help you learn about the game you watch. TNT led the way years ago, because it covers only the NBA in its sports lineup and it's broadcast games for more than 20 years. The network games in 1990s used Hubie Brown, who retired this year as the NBA's oldest coach after winning 2004's Coach of the Year Award, as its color analyst. Hubie is given to calling NBA players "the young man" while he explains the game, but Hubie is always teaching, so everybody must seem like a student to him. TNT is always grabbing the best talent, like scooping up ESPN's basketball reporter David Aldridge, the best in broadcast at getting the inside story on the sport. ESPN replaced Aldridge with Stephen A. Smith, a Phildelphia columnist who's only displayed a rap-style delivery and a tiny fraction of Aldridge's insights and NBA contacts.

At least Smith is fun to watch. Around the Horn gives air-time to Woody Paige, who has fallen from the ranks of regular sportswriters to become a TV personality, one whose bluster has caught on with the ESPN producers. He now works out of New York to do his three ESPN shows a day, pens a Sunday column for his Denver Post job, and appears to be polishing his performance skills while his analysis rusts. Paige can be counted on to know little other than the obvious while he predicts what will happen, crystal ball work that has been invariably cracked since he took on TV full time.

Print sports journalism can't rely on the silly haircuts and gimmicky props of TV. It must teach you something while it entertains and it's got to get closer to its subjects than a TV monitor and an earpiece. Another PTI regular, Bill Plaschke, sounds off with details and reporting insight, because Plaschke has to keep up with LA sports in his job at the LA Times. He hasn't cashed in his reporting skills for makeup tips.

ESPN's crystal ball remains a favorite product of TV sports analysis, too. Telling us what's likely to happen has all the durable value of a stick of chewing gum — tasty at first, but useless once it's consumed. I prefer the insight on TNT with Kenny Smith and Charles Barkley, former NBA stars who can entertain and educate at once. They talk about what has really happened, so you better understand what's going on during the next game's broadcast. During these NBA playoffs, ESPN reminds me that its first initial stands for entertainment, not sports.